Capital Punishment

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(Photo from @thatscottsilver Twitter)

CNN was so overwhelmed with President Trump’s attendance at Game 5 of the World Series and two hot girls who took the 7th inning stretch to a whole new level by quickly flashing their ta-ta’s behind home plate. Finally, the twins made a World Series appearance!

My first thought after I stopped laughing was that they were both really nice sets of boobs. If I ever wanted a boob job (I don’t, they would interfere with my golf swing) I would show the surgeon pictures of these puppies for my boob goals. My next thought was “Go Vols” as Larry Pratt was to the right in an orange University Tennessee shirt also behind Homeplate. Then, I thought about Clay Travis who is a strong believer in the first amendment and boobs. Clay is going to LOVE this!

Lauren Summer and Julia Rose attended Game 5 of the World Series in Washington, DC. In the bottom of the 7th inning, they briefly flashed Astros pitcher, Gerrit Cole, their set of twins in the Nation’s Capital. Later that night, they posted letters from MLB on their social media saying they had been banned from MLB indefinitely. Geez, talk about a capital punishment. (Kayla Lauren was not seen on camera due to a man blocking our view of her. She too posted a banned letter from MLB and posted a video after the peak-a-boo incident with Summer and Rose.)

The truth is that they knew they would get banned from MLB. It was all planned to bring attention to SHAGMAG, their digital subscription magazine company. Proceeds from those subscriptions will be used to pay off medical bills for women with breast cancer. IT WAS FOR A GREAT CAUSE! Talk about ‘Standing up to Cancer’! No one was talking about the game, just boobs and boo’s. (President Trump was shown on the scoreboard with wounded warriors and the entire stadium booed. You can look at the boo’s from a DC crowd as a sign of doing something wrong or as a sign of doing something right. I just don’t understand how you boo wounded warriors!)

But back to the important issue, we have three hot girls banned from MLB for trying to save the ta-ta’s! Now this is obstruction of justice! How many times have we had to see men’s boobs on TV? (And men don’t even have nice boobs.) In August, Mets, Pete Alonzo, got a bases-loaded walk to win the game and his teammates ripped his shirt off and exposed his dad bod. A few days later Mets, Michael Conforto, hit a walk-off and was so excited he too ended up shirtless. They even did interviews shirtless and no one in MLB cared. But MLB can ban female boobs?

By the way, where was the Miami Marlin Guy (the guy who shows up behind home plate in his neon orange gear and a vizor for tons of big games)? If he would have joined in on the flash mob, would he have been banned by MLB too? I would love it if a section in Houston for Game 6 could get a real “flash” mob together to raise awareness to breast cancer! If they paint their boobs pink, is that okay? Children who know what boobs are will either giggle or be educated on the different sizes and shapes of boobs. This should also be learned early in life to lower the expectations of thinking all boobs are as perfect as the three who are banned from MLB. This is a win-win for everyone involved. But banning boobs form MLB is just capital punishment for all viewers.

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