Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through football land,
So many teams were still trying to figure out their playoff stand.
The Redskins season was done with one more game to spare,
And we JUST found out safety DJ Swearinger won’t be there.

The team preferred road games at least that’s what Norman said,
While visions of winning & cheering fans danced in his head.
He wasn’t wrong, but his message didn’t come off right,
So Norman gave out tickets to all the fans in his sight.

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
The fans covered their eyes when they saw what was the matter.
Away on the field Houston had made a sack.
Alex Smith would do anything to take that play back.

The fans were louder than they had been all year,
But seats were still empty, it must have been that $9 beer.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a reminder of Theismann’s leg, 33 seasons to the year.

With a little ole backup, so lively and quick,
This was Colt’s chance to prove he didn’t need to sit.
It was another Monday Night where the Redskins outcome is always the same.
The Redskins got crushed, Colt broke his leg & the Eagles were to blame.

Now Alex, Now Colt, Now Sanchez and some kid named Johnson,
Wait, who the hell decided to put Mark Sanchez in?
That famous butt fumble Sanchez will always be known for,
Now dash away, dash away, we’ve already moved to QB #4.

Gruden gave the players a day off for their win over the Jags,
But that Monday night turned into a bunch of parking lot jabs.
Montae Nicholson got into some kind of fighting altercation,
Thanks to TMZ that knockout punch put him on a football vacation.

And then, the Saturday game that put the Redskins on the road,
I called my twin brother, off to Nashville we will go!
We booked our flights with Delta we found,
A win over the Titans would keep us playoff bound.

HENRY x 3 that’s the only chant that the Titans fans know,
By the way, the phrase ‘Titan Up’ it really blows.
Most of the Tennessee fans were all really nice,
But that guy with the buzzing sound, Dude, get a life!

All Day, All Day, that’s been our best play,
Without AP all our offense can do is pray.
To be his age and still have those wheels,
Man, that Adrian Peterson still has skills.

And then there’s Dustin Hopkins who has been so consistent,
He proved against Carolina, he can go the distance.
Mr. Dependable, his kicks have always been,
I just hope he’s back next year to do it all again.

The game ended and some fat boy walked to the Redskins bench,
Trying to mock Josh Norman, but JNO didn’t flinch.
“Norman is irrelevant”? Umm.. that’s just insane,
This is the first time the media has mentioned your name.

Typical, a Michigan player making threats to start a fight,
I googled his college career, Lewan remembers THAT night.
He’s a really shitty person and Michigan gave him a pass,
This guy is trash and karma will kick him in the a**.

When your team leads the league for having the most guys hurt,
It will always put your playoff season in the dirt.
Staying healthy just hasn’t been our luck,
Who are all these new guys, what the Yuck!

The Josh Johnson story would have been a great one to write,
But when the game ended, Saturday it just wasn’t his night.
There’s always next year, that’s the story we’re always told,
Because singing Hail to the Redskins will never get old.