Fantasy League

An estimated 27 million people play in fantasy leagues. There are leagues for just about every sport. Fantasy is fun because the fans get to act like the owner and the GM. I’m dedicated to playing in fantasy leagues year round. I even left the bar at an all-inclusive resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for a draft two years ago.

I enjoy playing, its fun and it’s not THAT serious. The draft is important to me because when you play in more than one league and have a job where fantasy stalking is frowned upon, remembering to make changes to my team isn’t on my daily to-do list. I’m going to be honest, I’m just happy when I can remember my log-in password.

A League of Their Own is one of the leagues I currently play in. It’s the most dysfunctional fantasy league! Full of egos, trash talkers, haterade drinking, beer belly, drunk texting- funny son of a Bush’s!

The league manager, Team Time to Repeat is the cockiest player. He is OBSESSED with winning (you’d think this Butch Sowers prodigy would say he’s won enough in his career as a little leaguer, but he just can’t let it go). Jones is known for pulling a shady move whenever he feels a threat of losing, but still we play in his leagues.

Last week there was a trade offer between Team Queef Hernandez and Team Hamel Toe and after reading the message board posts, the world of fantasy turned into a nightmare!

Allegedly, Big Bush- who is known for drinking a beer or two sent Byron a text with the following trade offer:

ROD traded Buster Posey, SF C to Hernandez
ROD traded Starlin Castro, ChC SS to Hernandez
ROD traded B.J. Upton, TB OF to Hernandez
ROD traded Ben Zobrist, TB 2B to Hernandez
ROD traded Ryan Howard, Phi 1B to Hernandez
ROD traded Chase Headley, SD 3B to Hernandez
ROD traded Roy Oswalt, Phi SP to Hernandez
ROD traded Huston Street, Col RP to Hernandez

BUSH traded Geovany Soto, ChC C to Toe
BUSH traded Gaby Sanchez, Fla 1B to Toe
BUSH traded Jimmy Rollins, Phi SS to Toe
BUSH traded Carl Crawford, Bos OF to Toe
BUSH traded Matt Kemp, LAD OF to Toe
BUSH traded Casey McGehee, Mil 3B to Toe
BUSH traded John Axford, Mil RP to Toe
BUSH traded Mat Latos, SD SP to Toe

Jones had the league vote and yes, I voted for it because it’s not even May. There’s so much baseball to be played and injuries are going to happen. But I guess I’m the only one who wasn’t scared because it was vetoed quicker than Terrell’s fastball.

The problem: Team Hamel Toe is loved and hated for the same reason; he wins- a lot! He’s also my twin brother so I’ll always be his biggest fan, but I may be the only one who doesn’t mind losing to him because I know he spends hours daily on his fantasy teams. He follows his players on twitter, stalks their facebook pages and there’s a good chance he has their autograph- with the time he invests, he should win! He’s a great fantasy player because he knows everything that is going on in the game at any given time and uses it to his advantage.

At 11:32am the first message board post was made about the conspiracy theory against Byron so he doesn’t win, again. At 10:43am the following day and 86 posts later, the board was full of curve ball comments, the Goose was loose, Jones pooped his pants- all while Big Bush played power hour for every shady comment Jones made about how cool he is.

It’s not everyday that I side with Jared, who has the worst taste in ACC basketball, but I agree with his post “This sh**s f***in hilarious! Ya’ll are crackin me up!” What he said next, is completely inappropriate.

But seriously, if you have time to post on the message board ALLL day- you are living a fantasy life. The rest of us (except Jones- who drinks his own Kool-aid) are just jealous that we can’t spend as much time with our teams like Byron.

*Jones- this is all in good fun. Thanks for being a fan of my blog!