Photo from Google Images
I don’t watch a lot of TV shows and I go to the movies once a year on Christmas day – it’s a family tradition. I’m usually pretty good when it comes to multitasking, but having to sit still and be quiet at the same time is not my idea of a good time. For the most part, jumping out of my seat, throwing something, high fiving strangers and yelling at officials are part of my fan/game experience. I’ve never earned an official conduct warning card like Alex, but when I’m watching games from home my neighbors have complained more than once about my excessive out burst of cheering and yelling.
Now that you know my ADHD back ground, it’s no surprise that I could care less about the Oscars, the Academy Awards, the Golden Globes or any other award show that recognizes the television shows and movies that I’ve never heard of.
The only award show that really matters to me is ESPN’s ESPYS- the best stories in sports told in one night. Live on Wednesday July 13th at 9:00. Unlike the other award shows, I know the nominations. I’ve watched the games or at least I have witnessed the highlights on ESPN. I even vote!
The ESPY’s take place during the MLB All-Star break so all professional athletes can attend (except the US Women’s soccer team who are playing in the world cup semi-finals). It’s a night of recognition, memories, comedy and a crowd of grown men decked out in bling-bling on the red carpet.
All presenters and nominees get a pimp gift package full of hotel packages, spa services, designer watches, luggage and sunglasses, gym memberships, P90X, several restaurant gift certificates, grooming products and even men’s spanks. Hopefully Hines Ward will use the Go-Brilliant transportation service gift certificate on his next night out on the town…
I’ve had dreams that I’m the first female to host the ESPYS. Seriously, I’ve had the same dream more than once and my opening monolog talks about my magical powers (not only can I open automatic door with the point of my finger but I also have the power to make small things look really big). Instead of just discussing my powers I call up Dustin Pedroia to stand next to me and poof, he looks huge!
I have a fear of doorknobs. They come out of no where and attack me, leaving bruises. I’ve ran into more glass doors than I should admit and broken my pinky toes countless times from opening doors. It’s sad how scary doors are to me and it’s no surprise that my father has told me my entire life not to tell anyone that he’s my father. He’s not famous; he’s just embarrassed that I’m his daughter so of course I announce my father’s full name with his picture in the background. It’s a classic moment of me laughing at my own jokes.
There’s a shout out to Ozzie Guillen and he yells back, but no one understands what he says, but we all laugh. Then later in the show I fight back tears as I introduce my hero, Coach Bob Knight. It has the potential to be the best ESPYS ever!
This year’s awards will be hosted by SNL’s Seth Meyers and if he acts like he does in the ESPY commercials it will be an entertaining night of sports. So get your popcorn ready and watch the only award show with the best stories in sports- the ESPYS!