Twas the Night Before Christmas, when all across the DMV
Not a Commanders fan was happy with the team in D.C.
The jerseys were hung back in the closet with care,
In hopes that next year, a healthy QB would be there.
The Eagles were confident all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in Detroit’s heads.
The Commanders and the Giants, both teams were crap,
They checked out of football and took a mid-season nap.
When on the media there arose such a clatter,
Just kidding, Taylor is engaged, nothing is the matter.
Away went the Chief’s season, it was gone in a flash,
Closed off Taylor from TV and Swifties felt the backlash.
The new moon wasn’t kind and caused pain,
Gave Burrow turf toe and Jayden a knee sprain.
When, what to the injury list should appear,
But Ekler and Bosa both done for the year.
With an older Russell Wilson and too much exposure,
We all knew by week four that experiment was over.
More shocked than before Rodgers is playing for Pitt,
And with Burrow on the IR, my fantasy team was shit.
Now, Ekeler! Now, Bosa! Now, Harris and CeeDee!
Out, Burrow! Out, Jackson, Out, Murray and JD!
To the top of the fantasy picks, the points did fall,
Now dashed my hopes of winning! Dashed away all.
As we entered week seven, add my name to the IR list,
When they drill holes in your knee, running will be missed.
A beatdown by Dallas and the Chiefs were hard to view,
Like the government, the Commanders are shutdown too.
And then, we kept losing for weeks nine and ten,
I don’t know if this team will get another win.
And just when the season couldn’t bring more shame,
We took an OT loss to the Dolphins in Spain.
Tried to go for two and now we have lost 7 in a row,
After 9 straight wins, the Broncos are putting on a show.
A shutout loss to the Vikings- who were shutout the week before,
Jayden Daniels is hurt again; he just can’t stay healthy anymore.
Philip Rivers made his QB return after five years out,
He became the first grandpa to throw a TD pass route.
The Colts called the future HOF-er out of retirement,
And all of his ten kids watched with excitement.
The playoff teams keep changing with each game,
And with the # of torn ACL’s- something has to change.
He still had a chance for the Chiefs playoff run,
Took a late hit now Mahomes & the Chief’s are done.
The Packers lost to the Bears in an OT that fell flat,
I laughed when I saw that cheese grater hat.
Maye and the Patriots are leading the division,
And Harbaugh looks dumb for his Henry decision.
The Eagles came to town with the weather a bit nippy,
And the rivalry showed the teams getting chippy.
The flags were thrown adding to the tension,
Eagles won, now Dallas is out of playoff contention.
The season may over, but there’s still games to play,
The Commanders play Dallas on Christmas Day.
So don’t forget your burgundy and gold,
Because singing hail to the Commanders never gets old.
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